No relationship is perfect. At least that’s what we tell ourselves through gritted teeth as our partners enter their fourth hour of taking the TV over with sports. But the truth is that everyone has hobbies, no matter how much they might annoy you – and it’s important try to respect that. Here are some tips to help…
Try Not To Criticize Him
Let’s face it: it’s important to pick your battles and unless he’s being really excessive, you’ll probably want to save your big complaints for when he really messes up. If he goes to the gym a little more often than you’d like, that’s okay – but if he never gets home in time to put your kids to bed, that should be an issue. You might not understand what he loves – maybe Star Wars bores your socks off, or you keep asking yourself, who buys junk cars? Well, the answer is that your partner does, so don’t tell him it’s stupid!
Show An Interest In What He Loves
Partnerships are often about give and take – which means that unfortunately you’ll probably have to listen to him enthusing about something he loves that you’re a little less keen on more often than you’d like. It’s important to remember, though, that enthusiasm is a good trait. People who love things and geek out over them are automatically more fun than people who aren’t really interested in anything. Ask him what he loves about his hobby – chances are, something will ring a bell with you and you’ll start to understand it more.
Strike A Compromise
Hobbies are important, but they should never trump your family life. If you think your partner is dedicating too much time to his hobby then it’s time to sit down and have a serious talk about it, and find some middle ground that you can both agree on. It isn’t okay for him to spend every weekend playing sports instead of with you and your kids and it also definitely isn’t okay if his hobby means that he has more free time than you. Your marriage should be an equal partnership, which means you should both pull your weight. Men have been conditioned to think that their needs matter more than women’s. Nip that way of thinking in the bud immediately.
Pick Up Your Own Hobby
If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, right? It’s important to make sure that you have things to focus on outside your relationship and your kids. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn about then why not take evening classes? You could join a book group, or learn French, or find some inner peace with some yoga classes. Don’t ask your partner to ‘babysit’ – that’s an error that a lot of moms make when actually what you’re doing is requesting that he take care of the kids that he created for an evening. You deserve time for yourself to explore your interests and your passions just as much as he does – so make sure that you take it.